Prolegomenon to Our Site

The astute reader (in the generic sense meaning viewer, hearer, &c, depending on the type of text one is discussing ("text" in Reader-Response Theory (as in all modern criticism) refers to any work in any genre in any medium)) may be forgiven his1 wonderment at reading a prolegomenon to a work of new media art... Indeed, the present authors believe that this prolegomenon is, in fact, the first ever prolegomenon to a work of net art. You, if we may be permitted to address the reader in this informal manner, are therefore witness to an évènement in the history of computer art, comparable to that experienced by the putative2 first reader of Gutenberg's first book printed with movable type.

It is fitting, at this juncture in our discussion, to glance over, however briefly, the history of the prolegomenon. Our comprehensive and thorough research reveals that Luther established the basic characteristics of the prolegomenon while engaged in prolonged and ultimately fruitless efforts on the seat of ease. Thus began the tradition, in which we humbly place ourselves, of erudite and extended prolegomena to all manner of works, especially those of a theological or a philosophical vein emanating from the Germanic school. It is within this context that we offer this modest prolegomenon, to you, our dearest reader.

Having thus prefaced our prolegomenon, we refer the interested reader to the full text3 of the historical précis.

The Present Text

The video entitled, "Epiphany of the Old Woman and her Banana Peel" is predicated upon certain cultural prerequisites, viz. the notion that banana peels, by custom, are not usually stored in bureaux, especially not within drawers whose more customary holdings include undergarments, particularly those manufacured by Fruit-of-the-Loom or Hanes. The reader (of this video) who is unfamiliar with these cultural mores will, alas, be denied the full catharsis provided by this small tragic play.

Indeed, the fate of our protagonist, who is so dismissively called, "the old woman" in the video, is hinted at by this demeaning epithet. That she is about to contract a banana-borne illness which will lead to her early demise after a prolonged disease course, and that her bereft widower will erect upon her grave a stone engraved with the form of a banana, is immaterial;Il n'y a pas de hors-texte. Said widower's fate, also, hors-texte, is not even hinted at in the present work. However, we feel comfortable in surmising that he will lead a long and happy life of disposing of any future banana peels, should he retain an appetite for bananas subsequent to the unfortunate loss in which that fruit was implicated, willy-nilly, throughout the house and grounds, the meaning of his wife's final act thus having been lost upon him. To whit: banana peels are to be disposed of in the garbage can under the kitchen sink. No other receptacle or location is to be employed as the final resting place for banana peels.

1 The pronoun, "his," is intended to refer to all manner of man, including women and other assorted perverts.

2 "Putative" is appropriate here as we have malheureusement failed to demonstrate the existence of a single first reader of Gutenberg's first Bible, or to rule out the case in which the Bible was first read by a nubile young maiden and her paramour, whilst seated upon a bench beneath a linden tree. Were this the case, it would explain the etymology of Berlin's Unter-den-Linden Strasse.

3 Niss, Millie E. (2002). Unpublished conversationa with Martha L. Deed, Ph.D.b

a Transcript may be obtained, subject to the usual delays, by FOIA petition to the Federal Bureau of Investigations's file on Niss (see the section pertaining to the listening device behind the original Picasso drawing in her bedroom.)

b Boston University, 1969. Thesis topic unrelated to the present inquiry.